Recognize Your Intrinsic Value
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
―Ralph Waldo Emerson
There are so many of us who believe we are “human doings” rather than “human beings.” We have been taught through conditioning that our value to the world is extrinsic. It is based on outer factors, such as what we do through our labor, our place in the social hierarchy or our contribution to the community. There is an underlying message we may have picked up and continue to say to ourselves, “what have you done lately?” This message keeps us constantly living from a deficit based on a false belief that we need to do more or be more to be ENOUGH.
When we buy into this message it keeps us focused on a sense of our value in relation to the external world, rather than recognizing we have intrinsic value, just because we exist. Even if we understand this difference conceptually, we may not feel it in our bones. Without really knowing it from inside out, we stand on the periphery of ourselves, feeling an internal sense of emptiness we long to fill.
We may occasionally visit the center of ourselves and we might even feel a temporary sense of fulfillment from being there. But, when we don’t feel an intrinsic sense of our value, the mantra of our conditioning soon returns and blares once again in our ear to get back in the hamster treadmill of our “doingness” in a desperate attempt to fill our empty sense of Self.
Fill Your Empty Well
“Self-love, self-respect, self-worth: There is a reason they all start with “self.” You can’t find them in anyone else.”
When we operate as human doings feeling our value is extrinsic, we are constantly looking for our sense of worth in the external world. If we just had the right house, car or financial portfolio, we would feel successful. If we just had the right job, we’d have great self-esteem. If we just had the right relationship, we’d know we are lovable. If we just give more to our partner, family, charitable causes, etc., then we will prove we are worthy of taking up space in the world.
All this outer focus, though, is a cheap substitute for what we really want. Only self-love, will ever fill the empty well deep within us. Self-love is not to be confused with narcissism. Narcissism is self-absorption that arises from an inability to differentiate between ourselves and our outer environment. It can lead to a need to be continual adored, a lack of empathy for others, and a belief that we are entitled to a special place in the social hierarchy. Narcissism is like a vacuum cleaner trying to suck up everything in its wake to fill the black hole within.
When we experience true self-love, we know we have intrinsic value, so we don’t waste energy trying to fill ourselves up from our outside environment. Instead we turn to our own Center. We replenish ourselves by tapping into our infinite power source, which is there for the taking. We draw on our core strength to accomplish what we want to do in the world, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. We open our heart more fully to life’s lessons. We also are dedicated to lifelong learning, since it continually nurtures our growing mind.
From this place of fulfillment, we have better self-esteem. We know we have an equal right be here, so we stand as an equal to others. Our sense of self-worth and personal confidence attract different people into our life. We naturally gravitate to people who nurture and uplift us. As an unknown author said, “When you start seeing your worth, you’ll find it harder to stay around people who don’t.”
Having this deep well within us is energizing and gives us a zest for life. It frees our energy to focus on experiencing greater purpose and meaning in our life, right here and right now. It also gives us a sense of internal well-being that was not possible when we were chasing after it in the outer world. Finally, through self-love we know the REAL place that we are happy to call home!
“Loving yourself isn’t vanity, its sanity.”
WE’RE HERE TO SUPPORT YOU
While you have a unique heroic path to follow in life, you don’t have to do it alone. We support you through Life Guidance Mentoring and Leadership Development Mentoring.